The Women (1939)

One of the most interesting things about "The Women" 1939 is that, despite its prominent tagline "It's all about men!" it actually passes the Bechdel Test. Not with flying colors, but in fact, there are a few moments here and there where these sexy, rich, bored housewives of Manhattan actually sneak in some convo about something other than the men in their lives--you know, like nail polish color and horse riding. Even stranger, this film contains not a single male actor, not even a bare chest or non-speaking punim in the joint. WHAT?!

I recorded this one last week because it got four stars according to my cable schedule guide. The description included terms that would usually turn me off, e.g. "gossiping," "catty," "divorce," etc. So I just had to see what the hell made such petty subject matter so great, especially since there's not even a Gregory Peck to keep me interested (yum). Well, let me tell you, it was the all-lady cast, which is basically a shortlist of MGM's greatest actresses of the era. Shearer, Russell, Crawford--they're absolutely sparkling and engrossing and eminently watchable despite the very domestic and banal squabbles they portray.

Shearer plays Mrs. Haines, a lovely wife with a young daughter (Virginia Weidler--the cutie who will go on to play in that other divorce-happy classic, The Philadelphia Story 1940) with whom she has a picture-perfect relationship. Russell is Sylvia, Shearer's "bestie" and a relentless gossip girl with an endless supply of hats equally posh and crass. Crawford appears as Crystal, the perfume counter salesgirl who catches Mr. Haines' wandering eye and gleefully positions herself as Mrs. Haines' mortal enemy. Much of this drama plays out in their fancy parlors or at the beauty salon, where the clucking hens are shown to be subjecting themselves to laughable physical tortures to "stay fit." Some things never change.

What constantly surprised me as I watched this dramedy of manners was the frankness with which they presented the effects of marital betrayal and divorce on the women involved. I've seen plenty of movies that merely hint at the horrors of divorce in the olden days, usually by just featuring a penny-pinching affluent old lady who just left her third husband, or by downplaying the seriousness with a song and dance and misplaced identities. But "The Women" puts these stereotyped female roles on full display, so you can count Mrs. Haines' tears as she weeps in her mother's lap when she discovers her husband's suspected infidelity. You can feel the sick satisfaction Crystal gets when she's on the phone with her married beau. The true emptiness of Sylvia's obsession with little whisperings along the grapevine strikes you in the chest. It's insane.

Now, of course, Mrs. Haines' struggles with whether she should let her husband's indiscretion go, or divorce, and SPOILER ALERT she decides to take the "six-week cure" and goes to Reno for what was then, the most trouble-free divorce money could buy. Funny thing about Reno--I had always heard this mentioned in older films and newer films about older days, but never really understood what that meant. Turns out that Nevada was the only state up until the 60's that granted divorces on a whim. You could file for many reasons, including something as simple as "Mental cruelty" (aka, "He talks too much" or "She interrupts me all the time") with no evidence. Everywhere else, the only grounds for divorce was adultery, for which one must present physical evidence, like photographs, or an eyewitness. Good luck with that!

So what well-to-do but disillusioned women did was head to Reno, where they had to establish residence for six weeks, all the while living a resort lifestyle horseback riding and schmoozing with "dudes." Then they filed for divorce and got their lives back from whatever two-timing bastard they had left back home. It was so popular that a whole tourist trade revolved around it and special Reno "divorce ranches" cropped up.

"The Women" shows Mrs. Haines living at one of these ranches with a number of others who are in limbo. Super ironically, one of them was played by the fiesty Paulette Goddard, who at the time, was married to Charlie Chaplin, but would soon be divorced from him two years later.

After much emotional distress from the whole "Reno-vation," Mrs. Haines goes home to her daughter, little Mary, who at one point joyfully jumps into bed with her mom and says "The best thing about divorce is that I get to sleep with you!" Oh boy. Of course, Little Mary sees and hears things at her daddy's house, like the new Mrs. Haines talking on the phone in the bathtub with her secret lover. When she tells her mom this, mom hatches a plan to out Crystal and therefore screw her husband's entire life! No, actually, that's how the ardent feminist in me would've liked to to end, but what really happens is that she uses this moment to embarrass Crystal and give her husband a reason to leave her and come back to his actual loving wife again. THE END.

Um WHAT.

Whatever. It's the 30's. What else can I expect? At least she got what she wanted in the end. Right?

One more thing before I go... in the middle of the film, the women all get together to watch a fashion show (as rich bored Manhattan housewives are wont to do) which suddenly bursts into TECHNICOLOR for several minutes. DOUBLE WTF. I mean, it was cool, but I have ever seen such a thing, except in arty european films at the time. I wish Fred and Ginger movies did this!

So anyway, watch this one because Joan Crawford is at her drag-queen best (see below if you don't believe me) and it's way better than reading a Cosmo. Keep is spangly, gals.